FMP-The painful truth
Since starting the final piece of the MA I have been struck like many others with artist block, not helped by a long drawn out house move, a farm into an estate, barns to sort and a declutter to squeeze it in as well as decorate and put in new bathrooms etc. It has be hard to focus so time has been hard to find. That said a trip to Thailand has done what I was supposed to do, given me the time to reflect and plan. Some of the thoughts are not positive as I am not doing work or finishing a piece that I came into the MA with so I feel personally it is a little unfair at times. As an artist I find it easy at times to think of things to photograph, but when you are looking at a project that has some meaning too it is not easy. It is also not easy to have the time to plan, execute and afford major projects that need to be complete in three months really. I am proud, and like to produce great visual images and I am very worried that my FMP will not meet my own ideals. There, I've said it!
I am constantly asking why it is okay to stay with the same idea when your work or project idea hasn't changed in two years? I'd have loved to see some new creative stuff from some of my peers too. Especially it seems some people like myself have been advised and guided away from my preferred style of photography and others not but that is maybe as they have a better argument for sticking with it. My style is the style that earned me money pre MA to be fair. But for the sake of experimentation and playing, I'm game as I have been through the course! It does however mean I have neglected my paid work over the last year especially, so if I go back there I will have to rebuild. I have no intention on pursuing a career travelling from story to story. it would affect my ability to foster. I shoot for me, and that-is what I intend to do in the final phase. I don't get approached for work so I will try and create some work I find fulfilling as well as meeting objectives for the FMP as it seems it is not about technical or aesthetics. I understand that a good photo is the one you take at the time, on what ever mode of apparatus you have, even iPhones, but it's hard to compare the use of time, taking and then editing images on dlsr cameras to just a snap and load image. That said I know that when unless a planned situation it is very hard to capture a moment with big cameras and equipment unless you know it is coming and lets not forget lady luck. I was hoping I would understand how an iphone image compares with large cameras or lenses on my journey through the MA but this still alludes me especially when I am sat looking at a 2k lens and justifying a future purchase.
So dipping my toe in the water with my agreed models to see how my ideas are received. That said I have only looked for models whom have a voice and are happy to share their ideas to put forward in the project.
© Gail Timms 2019 Dipping a toe in, Thailand